The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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