We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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