There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
