I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
