Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
