Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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