I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Dicks are not precious.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
