I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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