dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
