OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
