okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
