OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
