My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
