Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
