meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Green mimosas i think yes
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
