enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
