Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
