the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
