i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
