in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You dont lie about slip and slides
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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