Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Randomize
