I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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