He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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