I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
