i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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