two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
