fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize