I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
