people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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