Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I have feelings that need drinking.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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