if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
