im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
