hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
