these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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