Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
