i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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