There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
