By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
