I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
