Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
