shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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