omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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