Sober January is a disaster.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
