i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
