oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
