forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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