yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
