i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
