I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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