Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
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