sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
