They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I feel great
I just peed on a car
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
