Non-Jews are for practice
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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