I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize