I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Come on in and take your pants off
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize