You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
