whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
