if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
