how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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