Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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