How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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